My less than triumphant return...

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Well, I bet you thought you'd never hear from me again. Believe me. I thought about just disappearing into the darkness. But something has really made me want to get back to writing about this crazy life of gain and loss.

That's right... I said GAIN.

My last weigh-in on this blog was around 188 lbs in November. My last weigh-in that I recorded on my own was 183 lbs in mid-December. That was my lowest in a very long time. 

So, what am I weighing in at today? I'm weighing in at a shocking and embarrassing 230 lbs. It's is as close to my highest weight I want to get. I'm very disappointed in myself that I stopped weighing every week. I stopped exercising. I stopped caring about myself. That's why I am shaking myself out of this obliviousness and getting back on track.

What happened you may ask? Well, it was a hurricane of a lot of things. Since January I have gone through a horrible and humiliating break-up, moved into a new apartment, diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, began taking prescription meds, started dating a new man, got a job promotion, been dealing with the illness of a dear friend, among other everyday things.

Life is mostly on track now. I like where I am at and I'm trying to control my anxiety and eating.

I started off slowly by eating better (but not severely strict) and walking to work most days (about 35 minutes). That lasted about a week or more. Then, last week, I returned to the gym and still starting off slowly with 30 mins of cardio. I will work my way up to 1 hour. I have been on track with my calories for the last 4 days using the app and website LoseIt. Also trying to drink lots of water and green tea.

I do not have a scale at the moment as it was lost in the move. I plan to get one tonight. I am a person who can not be without a scale or go long stretches without weighing. I realize this now. I let myself get out of control.

Thanks to those of you who are still around to give me encouragement. I really appreciate your kind words and know that you know my pain of yo-yoing.

Here I am. Getting back on the horse. Wish me luck!